Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe covers of this book are too far apart.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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