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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

Ambrose Bierce

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Machine Technology Transformation
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Boundary Divorce Relationship
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disappointment Perspective Time
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blessing Exception Leaving Money
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Avoid Mindset Ourselves Reflection Relationship
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Myself Reputation Thinking
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Born Egg Loud Lying
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Call Distance Poor Rich Willing
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Head Himself See Thinking Wisdom
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Box Defend Democracy Stage
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Avoid People Selfish
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Conscience Destitution Forget Gift God
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Happiness Temptation Weakness
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Arrangement Classification Ignorance Knowledge Small
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Decay Life Selfish
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Edit Revision Sin
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Leadership Philosophy Road
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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