“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”

Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

Love is taking a few steps backward, maybe even more to give way to the happiness of the person you love.

All our sweetest hours fly fastest

Tears are the root of happiness.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

Never become bitter, and in the process, be happy and just go for it.

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.

Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.