War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCEREFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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