Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCEDemocracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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