Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE