You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KINGThat’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
More Alan King Quotes
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING