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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.

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Great New Older Thing Year

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I was a high school throw-out.
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High Out School Throw
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Bran Fifteen Last Live Longer Spend Toilet Year
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Father Help Leave Not True
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Bad Good Joy Over Place Review Scream Unhappy
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Always Dinner First Morning Plan Thing
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Modesty One Virtue
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Always Birthday Joke Me Such Time
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way

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