My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KINGThat’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
More Alan King Quotes
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING -
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING -
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING -
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING -
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING






