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Modesty is not one of my virtues.

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Modesty One Virtue

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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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