If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KINGA summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
More Alan King Quotes
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING






