Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
ALAN KINGA summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
More Alan King Quotes
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING