Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KINGI made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
More Alan King Quotes
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING