I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGI made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
More Alan King Quotes
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING






