Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KINGI made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
More Alan King Quotes
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING