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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.

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The other day my house caught fire.
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Caught Day Fire House Other
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Ability Absorb Book Else Exactly Make Someone Stage Story Word
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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Country Dinner Life One Restaurant Thing Whole
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Brother College Cut Him Member Nail Physician Surgeon Youngest
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell

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