An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KINGI just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
More Alan King Quotes
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING -
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING -
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING -
My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING -
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING -
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING -
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KING -
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING