Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
ALAN KINGI just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
More Alan King Quotes
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING