It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KINGIf you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
More Alan King Quotes
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING






