My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KINGAn old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING