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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.

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Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist

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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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