Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
MARK TWAINI’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
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Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
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Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAIN