I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBYThe Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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All parents experience the same problems.
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Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
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You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
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When you become senile, you won’t know it.
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The serve was invented so that the net could play.
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
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It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
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You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
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I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
BILL COSBY







