“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Classic – a book which people praise and don’t read.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.