The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINNever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
More George Carlin Quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN