The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAINA banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
MARK TWAIN -
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
MARK TWAIN -
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
MARK TWAIN -
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
MARK TWAIN -
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN -
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN -
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN -
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
MARK TWAIN -
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN -
The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAIN