If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERSThe man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
More Will Rogers Quotes
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
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Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS






