I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
WILL ROGERSSometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
WILL ROGERS