I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAINWhat is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
MARK TWAIN -
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN -
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN -
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN -
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN -
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN -
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN -
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN -
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN -
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN -
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
MARK TWAIN