We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPEHaving so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
More Bob Hope Quotes
-
-
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE -
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE -
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE -
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE -
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE -
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE -
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE -
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE -
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE -
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE -
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE -
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE -
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE -
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE -
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE -
Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE -
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE