Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPEI don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
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When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE