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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Bob Hope

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Inspirational Sports
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE

Congratulations Dark House
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE

Days Line One These Watches
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE

Doctors Funny Heart Operating Table
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

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Popular Authors

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