Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX






