Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARXHe may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX