England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPEOut here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE -
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE -
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE