He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPEOut here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE