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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Contraceptive Nudity People
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Down Head Kwwp Laugh Pro Real Reson See Tell
All mothers are working mothers.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Mother Working
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Before Clean Grow House Kid Shovel Snow Stop Up
Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Divorce Father Get Now Outside Remember
I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
PHYLLIS DILLER

Feature Made never That What
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Love Man Marry Money Nothing Tennis
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Along Always Easy Only Same Tell Understand
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Afford All Children Move Them Thing Want
You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Airbag Now Old Walkertr
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Brisk Excercise Good Idea Sit
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Life Own Real Thing
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year

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