“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.”

If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Outside the arch, always there seemed another arch. And beyond the remotest echo, a silence.

To find some lasting comfort in the arms of anothers fire…driven by a desperate hunger to the arms of a neon light, the heart is a lonely hunter when there’s no sign of love in sight!

To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another.

People give one another things that can’t be gift wrapped.

I’ve been so lucky to work with such great people: people that are such hard workers and have such a respect and appreciation for one another.

If there is a purpose in life at all, there must be a purpose in suffering and in dying. But no man can tell another what this purpose is.

I dream of a love that is more than two people craving to possess one another.

To care of another individual means to know and to experience the other as fully as possible.