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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.

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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Go Kitchen Mother never Other Pot Room Saw
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Accident Car Cousin Eighty Kill Male Mother One Raise Sister Six Trolley
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Better Father Parent
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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Always Art Even Humour Somebody Want Weapon
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Attack Fun Make Somebody
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Better Salami Sex Slice Thickly
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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Always Dinner First Morning Plan Thing
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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Anyone Food Friendship Imagine Interest Last Like More Someone
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Modesty One Virtue
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Dictator Full Life Little Run Try World
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Bran Fifteen Last Live Longer Spend Toilet Year
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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Country Dinner Life One Restaurant Thing Whole

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