I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KINGMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
More Alan King Quotes
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
ALAN KING -
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING -
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING