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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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Always Art Even Humour Somebody Want Weapon
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist
My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Ate Clean Good House Kept Mother
I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Being Bird Come Early Gonna Mind Sixty-five Special Tell
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Allow Being Comeback Easy Father
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Grub Hypochondriac Miser Money Worrywart
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Brother College Cut Him Member Nail Physician Surgeon Youngest
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want

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