You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KINGLet’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
More Alan King Quotes
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING