I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KINGWhen I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
More Alan King Quotes
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING






