I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARXI don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
-
-
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX