Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARXI don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX