Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA