My first car was a motorcycle.
ADAM CAROLLAMy life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA






