I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARXIf you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX






