Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX