If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is the chief cause of divorce.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX