Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARXWho says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
GROUCHO MARX