“Any place I hang my head is home.”

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.

Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.

Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!

The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

If bad decorating was a hanging offense, there’d be bodies hanging from every tree!

A good litmus test is that you should be comfortable with your significant other being present when you hang out with your friend.

It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged.

You can find shame in every house, burning in an ashtray, hanging framed upon a wall, covering a bed. But nobody notices it any more.

We are who we hang out with. Hang with happy people & live a happy life. That’s a secret I learned at a very young age.

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.

I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

In the game of life, we’re all hanging by a thread.