Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARXAny place I hang my head is home.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX