Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






