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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

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Age Confusion Father Myself Name

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Age Body Myself Time
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Joke Laughter Myself Sing
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Case Lost Number
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Myself Talk
In the human race today, you came last.
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Human Race Yourself
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Rain Sky

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