Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN