Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGANI cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGANRender any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGANI’m a hero with coward’s legs.
SPIKE MILLIGANContraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANI spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGANGod made night, But man made darkness.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN