Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALDWe often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
NORM MACDONALD