All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
SPIKE MILLIGAN -
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN