In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
SPIKE MILLIGANI have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGAN