Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In the human race today, you came last.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN