All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGANNever return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I told you I was sick.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN






