“Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.”

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.

Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

Its all in the mind, you know.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.

In the human race today, you came last.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

America’s not the world’s policeman. Terrible things happen across the globe and it is beyond our means to right every wrong. But when, with modest effort and risk, we can stop children from being gassed to death and thereby make our own children safer over the long run, I believe we should act.

I must sojourn once to the ballot-box before I die. I hear the ballot-box is a beautiful glass globe, so you can see all the votesas they go in. Now, the first time I vote I’ll see if the woman’s vote looks any different from the rest–if it makes any stir or commotion. If it don’t inside, it need not outside.

One remarkable fact stands out in the history of witchcraft; and that is, its victims were chiefly women. Scarce one wizard to a hundred witches was ever burned or tortured.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Strike the words “white male” from all your constitutions, and then, with fair sailing, let us sink or swim, live or die, survive or perish together.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

He [Christ] died for me. He made His righteousness mine and made my sin His own; and if He made my sin His own, then I do not have it, and I am free.

The need to understand prescription information can literally be a matter of life and death.