Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN






