In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANAnd God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
SPIKE MILLIGAN