Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
SPIKE MILLIGANHer mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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I told you I was sick.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN






