I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGANHer mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGAN