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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

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Appearance Funny Myself Time

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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Rain Sky
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Occasion Protection
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Blessing Deep Hard Time Light Perspective Philosophy
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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Class Expectation Morning Yourself
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Myself Talk
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Mindset One Liner Yourself
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Appearance Funny Myself Time
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Beautiful Eyes
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Death Far Laughter Live Time
My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Beginning Book Funny Myself Poem Reading
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
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Death Himself Man
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Sea Sick Tree

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