A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






